A hunter’s remorse (Use this one, it works!)

I never got a good look at the deer. All of a sudden, it was standing there, 50 yards away. (It is true that last fall, on the fifth day of the season, I had an inappropriate relationship with a buck.)

I was looking the other way when I heard a crunch. I turned. (It was a critical lapse in judgement.)

When I realized it was an eight pointer, I raised my rifle but forgot to take the safety off. And when I pulled the trigger, nothing happened. (Though I legally stated the facts as asked, I may have misled some people.)

The buck looked up then bolted before I had a chance to do anything about it. (This is now between the people I care the most about; my hunting buddies, our bartender, and my Buck-Monkey.)

I’m so bummed, I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. (Even deer hunters have private lives.)