At first, it was only a faint squeak that caught my attention. Then, the telltale snap of the smallest twig. Drawing upon my finely honed hunting skill acquired from over a quarter century of combat with the mighty whitetail, I turn my gaze slowly, pinpointing nature’s alarm bells like a hunting machine.

Fawn bleat, crack, crunch… multiple deer! Instincts take over. Brain begins to battle physical reaction of muscle twitches. Twitches become spasms. Brown moving – one deer. Flash of white …

“Daylight in the swamp,” shouts the self-elected General in charge of the Morning Rise. “I got some pannycakes going, and they look good!”

“How can you tell? It’s impossible to see through the smoke,” I wheeze, following the lighted haze from the kitchen like a firefighter breaking into daylight. “For God’s sake, put some clothes on Chew,” protests one of the morning flock, “I’m loosing my appetite.”

“Give me a minute, I’m trying a new recipe. Who would have thought WD40 could …

“I got a real good deal on the float tube, but the only swim fins they had left at Bendover Bob’s Bait and Barber Shop cost me an arm and a leg”, explained Tracker. “Bob personally recommended this high-capacity, state-of-the-art hand pump designed specifically for belly boat inflation. Bob also mentioned that I was quite shrewd to have purchased these accessories before one of his knowledgeable customers bought them. Why don’t you take the first shift driving and I’ll just …

“You boys about ready with your Science Fair experiment?” snarled Mr. O’Beeker. “I hope to heck you guys aren’t going to embarrass me with this project. You know, Old Miss Keaster, the Chairwoman of the Non-athletic Discretionary Spending and Sidewalk Maintenance Committee of the School Board, will be judging today. Do I need to remind you two leg-holders that this is the same committee that reviews my pay?”

“We’re finished with the project and able to demonstrate quite clearly one of …

Pastor Larson Johansson, the energetic and newly ordained Norwegian minister, was called to guide the souls of the Lutheran Church of the Good Life – a congregation of largely elderly and good folks from the Old Country. After two weeks, Pastor Johansson was already a smashing success having raised enough money to install a new electric wheel chair that would trolley the weak and feeble up and down the flight of stairs leading from the church entrance. It was no …