It's Not the Lutefisk They're After (Part 2) 

"Well, it isn't exactly a Pond, so to speak, but more like a holding pond actually," advised Succo. "Legend has it that if you fall in, you will die. Good luck boys. If you don't come back, your gear is mine."

A squad of inexperienced Scouts may have crumbled under the advise from Succo about fishing Deadman's Pond. However, I explained to the troops this was simply a juvenile maneuver designed to distract us from fishing what must be a terrific fishing hole. 

Tracker John lead us quite expertly to Deadman's Pond. Actually, it was rather easy because we were downwind from the Pond which made it easy to navigate. I explained to the troops that an accomplished fisherman knows that often times good trout water smells like a sewage treatment plant. The troops seemed skeptical but followed my lead, saluting vigorously all the way.

Bucky was the first to make it to Deadman's Pond. "Look, there's a sign! What does it say?" asked Bucky, challenged in the reading department but making good progress since acquiring new glasses. With his new spectacles, Bucky could see the craters on the moon and the rings of Saturn on a good night. Bucky was good to have in the squad because we often used his glasses to start campfires on a sunny day, discovering they worked almost as well as matches.

No Trespassing - Paper Sludge Holding Facility - Wisconsin Tissue and Cheese Company

"It's amazing what grown-ups will do to keep kids away from their fishing spots. Tracker, just get your wire-cutters out and we'll be through the razor-wire fence in no time, " I instructed.

We had no problem finding grubs to use as bait. They were all over the ground and we quickly tied a few onto our hooks and proceeded to cast from shore. "Wow, the fish must be hungry, my hooks keep disappearing," exclaimed Tracker. "Hey guys, I got one!"

Tracker fought the trophy for nearly an hour. It was big. We were unable to identify the exact species, but we were able to convince Bucky that some species of fish have legs and two heads.

With trophy in hand, we decided to head back to camp before Succo claimed our gear as his. Tracker had suggested that we could cook the trophy for Succo and Oren as a gesture of goodwill and respect for our leaders. We were excited about the opportunity to try Tracker's new peel and eat recipe.

It was a long 8-mile hike back to church after serving dinner to our leaders. We got a slow start due the frequent requirement to reference the Boy Scout Handbook chapter on "First Aid". The Woodchuck Squad felt honored to be able to simultaneously demonstrate direct pressure, artificial respiration and the Heimlich maneuver on Oren and Succo. Oren and Succo were quite heavy to haul back to church, but due largely to the Tracker's clever use of hand-weaved grapevines, we were able to drag them with little problem. The troops stopped from time to time to loosen the tow ropes so as to not deprive our leaders of air and to minimize further brain damage.

Pastor Larson Johansson was overjoyed to see us. Tears seemed to fill his eyes as he jumped up and down. "You know vhat you boys need? You need goot morels. You need to learn zee difference - a betveen right und vrong, goot and evill, kind und unkind. Bork bork bork..."

We were quite familiar with the rest of the sermon.