Deer Hunting - Stories with Buck Monkey » Tracker

Saving Tracker John

admin — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:47:55 +0000

“I got a real good deal on the float tube, but the only swim fins they had left at Bendover Bob’s Bait and Barber Shop cost me an arm and a leg”, explained Tracker. “Bob personally recommended this high-capacity, state-of-the-art hand pump designed specifically for belly boat inflation. Bob also mentioned that I was quite shrewd to have purchased these accessories before one of his knowledgeable customers bought them. Why don’t you take the first shift driving and I’ll just get the directions out of the box and read them so I’ll know how to belly boat by the time we get to Grand Marais,” said Tracker.

Grand Marais was a welcome sight that Friday night in early August after some six hours of driving and listening to Tracker’s endless feature-function-benefit diatribe. “Listen,” I said. “How about we just check into the motel, you buy me dinner and a few drinks and I’ll share my years of belly boating experience with you. In fact, I’ll throw in a few fly fishing tips too.”

Socket Boys

admin — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:32:55 +0000

“You boys about ready with your Science Fair experiment?” snarled Mr. O’Beeker. “I hope to heck you guys aren’t going to embarrass me with this project. You know, Old Miss Keaster, the Chairwoman of the Non-athletic Discretionary Spending and Sidewalk Maintenance Committee of the School Board, will be judging today. Do I need to remind you two leg-holders that this is the same committee that reviews my pay?”

“We’re finished with the project and able to demonstrate quite clearly one of the most significant contributions to the Science of Fishing in the 20th century,” I answered, in a reassuring yet understated sort of way.

It’s Not the Lutefisk They’re After

admin — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:08:45 +0000

Pastor Larson Johansson, the energetic and newly ordained Norwegian minister, was called to guide the souls of the Lutheran Church of the Good Life – a congregation of largely elderly and good folks from the Old Country. After two weeks, Pastor Johansson was already a smashing success having raised enough money to install a new electric wheel chair that would trolley the weak and feeble up and down the flight of stairs leading from the church entrance. It was no coincidence that the ride up the stairs ended next to the tiding box.

“Now, members of dis goot church, vee must vork to get dee children into our congregation. Vee must find a vay to engage our yute so as to instill zee goot Lutheran vays in our young people. I have an idea. Vee must start a Boy Scout troop!”